在薄凉的人世间守望友谊

2017-05-22 章菡 读书论道

从青年到中年,蓦然发现,有多少所谓的朋友,走着走着就散了,友谊的原野大多时候总归荒凉。有句话,人生有一知己足矣,足以道尽了生命的孤独与友谊的弥足珍贵。那么何为友谊?如何守望得这一世的友谊?

关于友谊,纪伯伦如是说:“不要对你们的友谊别有企图,除了追寻心灵的深耕外”。

邀请你的朋友共享生命,成全这一世的彼此懂得和灵魂成长,而不是另有企图。在古汉语里,“朋”字更富有深意,两个人格如月华之高洁的人为伴则为“朋”,在中国文化里更有“君子之交淡如水”的说法,君子的交往不掺和任何的功利和目的性,只是在这一世的情缘里,遇见、懂得、彼此拥抱、灵魂相伴,互为成全。既然是灵魂层面的契合,当然是少之又少,更谓是弥足珍贵。当看破蝇营狗苟的人世繁华,也就懂了伯牙绝弦的悲怆和决绝,更能体会到《高山流水》背后的惋叹和生命之凄楚。知音十足难觅。更为可悲的是,世人却在一场以友谊为幌子的实用性和功利性的人间游戏里乐此不疲,透支人格,甚至泯灭人性,岂不可悲可叹。

知音难觅,如若今生有缘,请就以慈悲的胸怀善待友谊,并切忌苛责友谊。

关于友谊,纪伯伦同样说过“友谊是你播撒爱和感恩的种子而收获的天地。”真正的友谊,没有斤斤计较,更没有彼此利用,首要的是爱和感恩。而爱和感恩的至高境界是慈悲,所谓的慈悲,以佛法开示,就是无我相、人相、众生相、兽者相,天人合一,众生归一,不分彼此。在友谊的天地里,只有做到爱和慈悲,友谊的个体超越小我,灵魂相知相惜,方得恒久。

其次,以宽容人性的方式拥抱友谊,不苛责友谊。著名作家周国平曾说,从灵魂层面,每个人都是孤儿。既然是孤儿,一是,每个人都有以自我为中心的生命根性;其次,每个灵魂都需要温暖,穷其一生寻找归宿。如果能体悟到生命的这般层面,对于人性某种程度的自私、狭隘,甚至趋利性,都是可以接纳的,所以,在友谊的世界里,苛责友谊是友谊的最大杀手。在这一点上,最好是灵魂相伴成长,生命彼此成全,在友谊相伴的道路上遇到每一个最好的自己,当然是人生至幸。

如果每一个灵魂都是孤儿,那就试着超越人性的狭隘,以友谊的名义奉献你的悲悯和慈悲吧;在薄凉的人世间守望友谊,奉献你最好的东西给你的朋友,同享喜悦,共历一世繁华,让友谊之花在生命的原野里绽放,让每一个生命都不再孤独。

(END)

原文地址 http://mp.weixin.qq.com/s/F7n1uqsn6MWuq9urE_HISA

Continue Reading

THE SEEN AND THE UNSEEN

Ha! yon burst of crystal splendor,
Sunlight, starlight, blent in one;
Starlight set in arctic azure,
Sunlight from the burning zone!
Gold and silver, gems and marble,
All creation’s jewelry;
Earth’s uncovered waste of riches,
Treasures of the ancient sea.
Heir of glory,
What is that to thee and me?

Iris and Aurora braided–
How the woven colors shine!
Snow-gleams from an Alpine summit.
Torch-light from a spar-roofed mine.
Like Arabia’s matchless palace,
Child of magic’s strong decree,
One vast globe of living sapphire,
Floor, walls, columns, canopy.
Heir of glory,
What is that to thee and me?

Forms of beauty, shapes of wonder,
Trophies of triumphant toil;
Never Athens, Rome, Palmyra,
Gazed on such a costly spoil.
Dazzling the bewildered vision,
More than princely pomp we see:
What the blaze of the Alhambra,
Dome of emerald, to thee?
Heir of glory,
What is that to thee and me?

Farthest cities pour their riches,
Farthest empires muster here,
Art her jubilee proclaiming
To the nations far and near.
From the crowd in wonder gazing,
Science claims the prostrate knee;
This her temple, diamond-blazing,
Shrine of her idolatry.
Heir of glory,
What is that to thee and me?

Listen to her tale of wonder,
Of her plastic, potent spell;
‘Tis a big and braggart story,
Yet she tells it fair and well.
She the gifted, gay magician,
Mistress of earth, air, and sea;
This majestic apparition,
Offspring of her sorcery.
Heir of glory,
What is that to thee and me?

What to that for which we’re waiting
Is this glittering earthly toy?
Heavenly glory, holy splendor,
Sum of grandeur, sum of joy.
Not the gems that time can tarnish,
Not the hues that dim and die,
Not the glow that cheats the lover,
Shaded with mortality.
Heir of glory,
That shall be for thee and me!

Not the light that leaves us darker,
Nor the gleams that come and go,
Not the mirth whose end is madness,
Not the joy whose fruit is woe;
Not the notes that die at sunset,
Not the fashion of a day;
But the everlasting beauty,
And the endless melody.
Heir of glory,
That shall be for thee and me!

City of the pearl-bright portal;
City of the jasper wall;
City of the golden pavement;
Seat of endless festival.
City of Jehovah, Salem,
City of eternity,
To thy bridal-hall of gladness,
From this prison would I flee.
Heir of glory,
That shall be for thee and me!

Ah! with such strange spells around me,
Fairest of what earth calls fair,
How I need thy fairer image,
To undo the syren snare?
Lest the subtle serpent-tempter
Lure me with his radiant lie;
As if sin were sin no longer,
Life were no more vanity.
Heir of glory,
What is that to thee and me?

Yes, I need _thee_, heavenly city,
My low spirit to upbear;
Yes, I need thee–earth’s enchantments
So beguile me with their glare.
Let me see thee, then these fetters
Break asunder; I am free;
Then this pomp no longer chains me;
Faith has won the victory.
Heir of glory,
That shall be for thee and me?

Soon where earthly beauty blinds not,
No excess of brilliance palls,
Salem, city of the holy,
We shall be within thy walls!
There, beside you crystal river,
There, beneath life’s wondrous tree,
There, with naught to cloud or sever–
Ever with the Lamb to be!
Heir of glory,
That shall be for thee and me!

私家车999梦茹

Continue Reading

Everyone is talking about the scheming, but why is it better to be a good man?

Two weeks ago with a workplace on the development of these two years is very smooth girlfriend drink tea, listen to her evaluation of a background in the company very Niubi high:
 
“His most admirable place is to never hesitate to share his resources with people, even with his eight – beaten department, as if he had given himself a helpful person.
 
“If you look carefully, you will find that the workplace can go to the last many people, are so. Very capable, very powerful, but beingided.
 
Well, I am totally agreeing about this point of view.
 
So today, we come to talk about this sounds like a very fashionable topic Well: Why do everyone study the palace of the era, we should instead do a good person is being

01

Say a little story first.
 
I have a girlfriend to do entertainment journalists, people are beautiful, capable. Every time she had a job with her, she was very helpful to me.
 
I have been complacent, probably because I put my own skills like it.
 
Until many years later, she inadvertently said: “Do you remember our first meeting? Is a brand conference, your seat just next to me. I was on hand with an English material needed someone to help me I heard that you are graduating from foreign language university, attend to us is the first time to meet, sick anxious to ask the doctor, ask you can help busy.
 
“I did not expect you actually agreed! Help me listen to all the English material! I was thinking, my God, how could there be such a good girl, I must be better to her later!
 
Uh, I really do not remember, touch the head.
 
For me, this is a very trivial matter. First of all, anyway, I was very empty that day; Second, a university era of high-level interpretation of the English translation of the certificate, the opportunity to re-exercise about the old industry, in fact, very happy.
 
But it brought me a very long friendship.

Many years later look back, in fact, we established in the workplace of those relationships, mostly by this little thing little by little connected.
 
When young, I have been keen to participate in various industry salons and parties, in order to accumulate social resources as soon as possible. But soon I found that when you and the other status is not equal, each other in the work can not form a mutually beneficial relationship, even for hundreds of business cards, but also save a bunch of phone numbers only.
 
This social, cost is very low, is the so-called invalid social.
 
And later gradually realized, or work colleagues and partners to help you up to help.
 
Are met in the micro-time, are trying to climb the young people. Today, you are on my rivers and lakes emergency, tomorrow I have the opportunity to reciprocate … … assume that each other are the case of Kaopu, unknowingly, the trust was so established.
 
Wait a few years later, everyone in their respective areas gradually gain a firm foothold (believe me, Kaopu people usually do not mix too bad), you suddenly become everyone’s eyes, very resourceful people.
 
Moreover, because it is based on the trust between people to establish a cooperative relationship, subject to external conditions are very small. No matter where you go, these people and relationships, most of them will follow you.
 
So, the workplace rules one: young, you are not qualified to talk about “resources” word. You can do is to continue to do one thing and a small thing to accumulate industry reputation.

This is a long process, so you have to be a good guy.

▲ Oleg Oprisco photography works
 
02

On the other hand, if the young work in the big platform, one thing must be very, very careful, that is, do not rely on the platform temper up.
 
I have a team of students under the team has a request: no matter when and where to stay polite. Can have a strong position, but be sure to maintain a moderate attitude.
 
Very simple, strong is the platform, not your own. One day when you leave, the platform resources you do not take, bad temper is going to follow you.
 
Just say a little thing: when I was young, around those who are very angry on the public at every turn on the shouting of the peer, now do not know where to go to the world.
 
Besides, even if your platform has not changed, but also could not stand the year you were neglected people feng shui turn ah.
 
I have a broker friend, early years when the line, with a second-line female star notice. There is a time when the actress publicity period, she called a magazine editor, asked if there is a chance on the cover.
 
There is a blunt way to say that we have our own star channel. And then have not had time to wait for what she said, hung up the phone directly.
 
She was very angry for this thing, with a bunch of friends complained for a long time.
 
Later, after a few years, her career developed very well, began with a large line of coffee. At this time, replaced by that editor came to ask her, there is no chance to about her star on the cover.
 
She asked: Do not you have your own star channel?
 
So this is a “landscape meet” story.
 
Workplace rules two: “warning language” there are four words, “the potential can not be done, blessing can not enjoy, cheap can not be exhausted, smart can not be exhausted.

Simple summary, that is, more spring breeze, the more low-key, humble.

03

In fact, in any field of workplace, to do a spring breeze blowing good people, are more difficult than the wicked. Or you said, why no matter boys and girls, all of Lin Chi-ling’s love business newspaper to a high degree of evaluation?
 
Interestingly, my first job due to the nature of the relationship, there are plenty of opportunities to work with brokers and women stars.
 
From them, you can learn a simple and practical tips: when you and the other ideas are inconsistent, how politely adhere to their views, while not harming anyone’s face.
 
I call it the “three-stage communication law”.
 



Assuming you have just finished large, you want to use the photo A cover, she is more like the photo B:
 
“This photo is good for you, and today ‘s photographers, stylists and clothes are all great.” (To praise the other side, let the other heart feel comfortable.
 
“Unfortunately, my right half of the face is not the left side of the face look good, although this pose is very vivid, but my face will not be familiar with the point of view of the attractive.” (And then selfishly half a step, you are right, The problem.)
 
“So we have the possibility of picking another goes on? If you think pose is not in front of that good, maybe you can try to make a photo to do such a cut?” (Finally put forward their own opinions, and with a solution.)
 
In the first half of my career career, usually met most of the day, are brokers, brand market, public relations people who fine fine people. You will find to deal with them, this three-paragraph communication method is really good use.
 
Do not need to say anything more, the other side immediately understand where your bottom line. Each step back, to reach an agreement, but also happy to work together later.

But then, when I switched to a portal, because the nature of the work requires a lot of deal with the wedding small business, I suddenly found that this way of communication does not work.
 
You left on the face, we will not hesitate to come to step on your bottom line where you look. The beginning will really have culture shock, and later found that this is for the boss to work and do their own business two different ways of thinking.
 
Do businessmen who do small business, earn and spend every penny is their own money, the pursuit of maximum benefit is the primary premise. As long as there is a little bit of squeeze the space, they will want to be an inch to try.
 
See it is also easy to understand: the rejection of the time on the polite, clearly refused to clear. Businessmen do not have glass heart, the more no bending around the modifier, but they are the better way to communicate.
 
Do not have to worry about will hurt each other’s face. As long as clear the rules of the game, the next opportunity to cooperate, they will be happy to come to you.
 
So is the other layer of the essence of being explained, not to let you when the principle of the workplace is not good, everyone can come to step on the foot; but the so-called “empathy”: can put themselves from the other point of view, Think about why he wants to do it
 
Therefore, the workplace rules three: whether it is to communicate with people or find someone to cooperate, first stand in each other’s position to help him think about where the interests of the point.

This is not to show weakness, but because both sides can be profitable to be able to long and happy to go.

04

Honestly do the first three points, plus a certain number of years of work experience accumulation, unknowingly, you will suddenly find:
 
Now the problem is not no resources!
 
Is to know too many people, a person only 24 hours a day, but to maintain the basic ah!
 
So why do I have been encouraging everyone to do a mentality open people, a lot of share resources to their colleagues and subordinates? Because if you do not share, those sleeping resources on the waste ah.
 
Sleeping resources is equal to no resources (knock blackboard, graded ing).
 
On the first day of the company, I have told the kids on the team that from today you will get all the industry resources that I have accumulated over the years. Take a good catch and keep it, after a year or two, you will find yourself having a chance to grow faster than many peers.
 
Then a little friend secretly told me: “At first we all think you are lying, but later found, as if you are really!
 
Some people may ask: to share out, not afraid of resources were taken away, he was replaced?
 
My point of view is this: If you only forward a WeChat card, or transfer a project, you can be pry the relationship, is not your own relationship. That’s just a contact.
 
I ask you dead clutching a contact, with the young to change a lot of business cards do not have, what is the difference? (This year to find someone is not easy, who can not contact who ah, microblogging, WeChat, friends circle … …)
 
The best way to win the win, I share the resources I can not use for you, you can play here 100% or even 200% of the role, and then point to the surface, maybe here I can find new opportunities for cooperation.
 
Saying that I and “high-heeled 73 hours,” the boss Zhao Ruohong, then it is because it is so familiar with the ah!
 
The first cooperation, she invited me to Han Han to do the activities of the judges.
 
The second cooperation, her customer activities with the stars of the filming of the filming period, I asked her to help keep the flight schedule. (Ah, the day with the guests who played opponents play, looks like Tony Leung … …)
 
These two co-operation are purely cooperative or private help, no doping a little bit of money.
 
Purely I see you pleasing to the eye and Kaopu, willing to cooperate with you, plus a little bit “since you help open the head must be responsible in the end,” the loyalty. (Who said that the workplace does not need loyalty? Then knock on a small blackboard.)
 
Basically, such cooperation to one or two, you can rise to the intersection of life and death of the friendship. Our common friend wears a big sign.
 
Workplace life and death of the turn, with the office to help the party is very low to do this group does not matter. But said that from then on our trust, to the core of social resources can share the relationship.

 
Simply put it, that is, to the extent of the exchange can be lovers circle.
 
I know you all the buddies, you know all my girlfriends, in view of all of us are Kaopu people, our buddies and most of the girlfriends are also mixed well. (Or can not have a common topic can do friends for more than 10 years).
 
Soon, you will find that with you to the exchange of friends can be exchanged for a few friends, you want to do some casual or where to find someone, you can quickly reach the field that Get the students.
 
Very simple, you share, is their past career career more than ten years accumulated and screened out of social relations ah!
 
For me this is actually very house of students, this method is the most efficient, the highest quality social model.
 
Than you go to participate in 1000 parties, for 10,000 business cards, are useful.
  
05

Last but not the least, let’s go back to the top of the article.
 
Why do I hate the palace culture?
 
First, the world changes so fast, if you do every thing before you have to figure out whether there is any interest, is not clear (and as previously said, if it is always a side of the cheap side of the relationship, Difficult to long).
 
It is possible that you forget for a long time, but finally made a loss trading.
 
Second, if you have not forgotten a child learned physics class, should know that at any time there is a force and reaction force exists at the same time.
 
Do not think the other side looks less than you can just hurt, and then weak opponents, there will be resistance to the power. Life to save RP this sentence, a lot of time really is not just talk about it.
 
So, it is better to be a good person to maintain integrity and open mind.
 
Tell true, both to protect themselves and the interests of the team, but also let people around the spring, can do this, and perseverance to do this, not easy.
 
Even my own are still trying to practice the process of it Are you interested in having a challenge to see?

Continue Reading